SAYEH'S LITHE DIVING! 22 Apr 2011
The following blog is meant to be read while listening to Jordan Sparks and Chris Brown’s “No Air” and crying into a pint of Haagen Dazs.
There’s something about me that you should all know before our relationship progresses any further. I feel like we’ve gotten close enough by now (you know my bust measurements after all), that I’m ready to tell you know the truth. I’ve debated telling you, because I was worried some of you might look at me differently, but when I saw what Lauren posted on the blog yesterday, I couldn’t ignore the sign. It’s time you know.
I’m head over heels in love with Oprah Winfrey.
I mean it. I love her.
I love her so much that I wish I could recreate the plot of that 80s movie Vice Versa in my own life just to get closer to her. You know the one where Fred Savage and his dad switch places? Both of them touch this weird shrunken head thing and next thing they know, Fred Savage is in his dad’s body, and his dad is in Fred Savage’s body and of course hilarity ensues. (If you haven’t seen it, stop what you’re doing and put it in your Netflix queue...but then come back and keep reading.) I desperately want to find one of those shrunken head things, and switch places with Gayle King (Oprah’s bff) just so I can be around Oprah all the time.
We could go on cross country road trips together, and talk about how she really feels about her long lost sister Patricia (we’d tell each other everything). We could pop into little towns to surprise ultimate viewers and watch them go bananas. When we want to do something low key, we could sit around at home and make lists of our favorite things and hang out with Stedman.
In the meantime, Gayle would be trapped in my body and be very upset about it. After one High Mini with Tif, she would probably fly to Oprah’s house in Santa Barbara frantically trying to get her body back. Oprah and me would answer the door (we’d always be together), and Gayle King would point at me and say that I stole her body just to be Oprah’s bff. I of course would deny everything, and would tell Oprah that this person was some crazed fan who writes weird Oprah blogs and we’d just laugh and laugh at this silly girl claiming to be ME, the NEW Gayle King. Muhahahahahahahaha!!!!
Sigh. Dare to dream.
Even if you absolutely abhor her (sniff), you probably know that this is Oprah’s final season, and the countdown has begun. After today, there are only 24 Oprah shows left. 24! How am I going to breathe with no Oprah?? When her final episode airs on May 25th, I might actually freak out. (Seriously. I’m pretty sure my close friends are planning on standing by with defibrillators that day.)
It’s akin to the feeling I’m starting to get now with only 1 week left in my Lithe Diving adventure. When it first started, I was terrified and didn’t know how I would make it through an entire month. Now I’m not only sad that it’s going to be over, but I’m a little scared too. How am I going to breathe with no Lithe Grilled Tofu and Brown Rice Pilaf??
Recently an audience member asked Oprah how she’s feeling as she embarks on this next chapter of her life. Oprah responded that she was most concerned about ending the show because she wouldn’t know what to do with herself (I won’t know to do with all my free DVR space). I’m feeling the same way about the Spring Fitness Challenge (Opes and me have so much in common!) What will I DO with myself, if I’m not going to 5 classes a week? And more importantly, what will I EAT?
WWOD?? (what would Oprah do?)
I think Oprah would set goals for herself. So naturally, that’s what I’m going to do. In the final, upcoming week of Lithe Diving, I’m going to really focus myself on life after the plunge. Going back to ranch dressing and patchy workouts is not an option, so the plan is...to come up with a plan. I look forward to sharing it with you as the week unfolds. Because alas, all good things must come to an end. Even Oprah.
The good news is, at least I’ll still have Lithe.
See you in class,