SAYEH'S LIVING LITHE! 1 Jun 2011
I always say that if a genie were to grant me 3 wishes, I already know what two of them would be. The first would be to find everything I’ve ever lost (not including virginity or pounds). I would have more money, cell phones, and sunglasses than I would know what to do with. The other wish—a little less conventional—would be to see my twin standing in line at Starbucks one day, so that I can see exactly what I look like.
Mirrors are so unreliable. There are skinny mirrors and fat mirrors (that’s what I tell myself) and mirrors in department stores with terrible lighting. It’s impossible to see an accurate reflection of oneself anywhere. It’s part of the reason I gained 10 lbs. and didn’t realize it (until I saw myself in a Phillies Phan photo. My face was so round, it looked like I was in the midst of an allergic reaction).
The problem is, we don’t actually know what we look like. Snow White’s wicked stepmother had to employ a magical, talking mirror to tell her she was pretty—and still didn’t trust it. What I see when I look down at my legs is vastly different than the reflection from the funhouse-like mirror that sits tilted against the wall in my bedroom. I look down. I look back up. I change angles—all in an effort to figure out what I’m missing—why the two images don’t match up.
Almost always though, the mirror wins. I think: that must be what my legs look like. I mean…that’s my reflection.
So far, I’ve lost about 12lbs since the beginning of the Challenge, and as usual, my mirror isn’t helping me to truly see my progress. Lauren always says that after a few months of Lithing, your body will change. This couldn’t be more true for me. I feel like I woke up one day after 4 months of consistent Lithing (2 weeks after the end of the Challenge), and didn’t recognize myself. My body feels and looks narrower somehow. And my legs? I can see a calf muscle! An honest to goodness calf muscle! (Sure I have to stand on my tiptoes and turn my leg out in a certain angle, but it’s there, I swear!) But still, the mirror is deceiving. I rely on my baggy clothes and the scale to reflect the change instead.
I will say that no matter what mirror I look in, one thing I know it can’t reflect is how light and clean I feel on the inside. Since the Challenge, I’ve kept up with the good eating habits that Lithe Foods helped me form. I’ve always had a passionate love affair with food, but now it’s just a much healthier relationship. Instead of feeling gross and overstuffed after each meal, I feel satisfied and actually nourished. No more hating myself for what I just ate.
So, as much as I would LOVE a magic mirror or wish to see my doppelganger walking through Washington Square Park, I realize that neither would actually show the entire picture of how this experience has changed me. I wouldn’t be able to see how strong I’ve become (I’ve graduated to doing all the pushups on my toes!) I wouldn’t be able to see the boost in my confidence. I certainly wouldn’t be able to see how my attitude about working out has completely changed. I’ve gone from dreading the Challenge to being disappointed if I can’t get to the studio five times a week.
Perhaps if I ever find myself in the Cave of Wonders with Abu and a magic lamp, my third wish would be NOT TO CARE about my reflection. I wouldn’t need to take a peek at myself in every reflective surface possible (office buildings, store windows) in a constant effort to see how I’m looking. Is my butt really smaller? I would place more emphasis on how I feel. How my clothes fit. My energy and stamina. And perhaps BELIEVE my friends and family and the constant encouragement of people who love me and have been cheering me on in this process. The constant encouragement of all of you in the studio who stop and say “you look amazing!” or “great job!”
Thanks for helping me realize my mirror is the LEAST reliable reflection of my accomplishment.
In a crazy twist of fate, Sayeh walked into a bar bathroom last weekend that had crazy mirrors and took some cool pics that she thought would go great with this blog entry. They were taken by Ashley Evans Blakely via IPhone.