ME ON MONDAY (THE BOUNCE-BACK MYTH, CON'T). 17 Jul 2012

After receiving a ton of emails and comments, I wanted to dig a little deeper into the post-natal recovery experience and why I loathe how the media portrays celebrities "bouncing back" after birth.  It's definitely not all about losing weight in a matter of days/months, the number on the scale or fitting back into your favorite pair of jeans.  It's a lot more than that.  Sure, everyone wants to lose the last five pounds, but the experience is all encompassing - Body, mind and soul.

First and foremost, I wanted to help validate some of your experiences by sharing my story over this past year.  To many of you, I do work out like a celebrity (two hours a day, minimum),  I have a chef (Lithe Foods), I breastfed for four months (and didn't lose a pound doing it) and a nanny helps me at home.  It should have been easy for me, right?  Wrong.  Unlike what you read, it has taken me just about 365 days for me to get into a groove and feel "normal," or, shall I say "stable," mentally and physically. 

A few things that I've learned: 

• You'll never be the old you again and that's not necessarily a negative thing.  This process should be called BOUNCING FORWARD.  You've got a whole new life (and body) now, Mama.  It's fuller, richer, maybe thinner, curvier, more fit, stressful, but overall it's very different. The one thing that you're not doing is going BACKWARD and I think it's crazy (and ironic) that we refer to it as "bouncing back." 
  
• The recovery process is not a competition, and just like your pregnancy and your baby, your experience will most likely be radically different than your girlfriend, mother or sister's experience.

• It's very okay to be unhappy with your body for a undetermined amount of time.  It's also okay to bitch and complain about it.  That bitching and complaining will not only motivate you, but it will teach you a few good lessons down the road.   
  
• It's difficult not to count-down.  Even I did it for the first 3 months (haha, little did I know!).  Take your time and don't give into the pressure and stress to "bounce back" in your fourth trimester.  Those first three months are such a delicate time. 
  
• It took me at least nine months to start feeling completely comfortable in my skin again.  I pushed off press opportunities, said no thanks to public speaking engagements and photo shoots for at least six months post-natal because I didn't want to deal with the pressure and stress of it all.  With all that a new baby brings, it really is the last thing that you should be stressed out about. 
  

• Lastly, no matter where you are in the "bouncing forward" process, the physical and mental struggles are very worth it and you will soon be stronger than you could ever imagine.  Looking for more on this topic?  Check out blogger and author, Caitlyn Boyle's The Healthy Tipping Point.
  

Image of Lauren Boggi Goldenberg and Mars in the morning via Jordan

Comments

[amanda]

Thanks Lauren, for being so candid. these are all excellent insights and (as always) refreshingly healthy ways to think about these things. :)

[Inspired]

Lauren this series is great! I'm 7 weeks postpartum and only 3lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight (gained 30lbs) and my doc is happy, but there is no way I am ACTUALLY healthy! I may have lost pounds, but my body is not the same (wider, jigglier and my stomach will never be the same). I feel good, but not healthy per se. I have the green light from the doc to work out but I'm scared. Scared of looking like the "big, out of breath one" in class. But, I love what you said about bouncing forward! It makes so much sense and yet no one talks about how you can't go back. And really, why would I want to? Before I didn't have a beautiful baby girl. Before I wasn't a mom. Before my husband and I didn't have this post-baby bond (birth is an amazing shared experience). Why would I want to "bounce back"? My life is moving forward and my body will too...in time.

Thanks!

A former lither who is inspired to come back.

[Theresa]

I so appreciate this post! I've never had a baby but have always had weight issues and as I've gotten older, things that used to work in the past to lose and tone aren't working as well or as quickly as they did when I was younger. I've noticed my body changing as the years go by; I can only imagine the struggle post-baby. This was so inspirational because it helps to know that some struggles are universal and we can pull inspiration from each other.

[Jenny Parker McCloskey]

I just think you need to give yourself time "off" after that baby arrives. Time off from exercising, running to social events, caring what anybody else thinks. Those postpartum days will be over soon enough. Make it as easy for yourself as possible. When it is time to jump back into life, you'll know.

[Tamar Daniel]

Lauren, *Bouncing Forward* is SUCH a beautiful way to think of this process. It has really resonated with me. I think it's very brave and admirable of you to be so honest.

[joy]

i love this post, L! such a great way to describe it as bouncing forward!

[Lauren Boggi Goldenberg]

Thanks Joy! Miss you.