Every December, as the new year approaches, my family and I sit around and discuss what our resolutions are for the coming months. Inevitably, my mother and I discuss our health and weight (we have the exact same shape). We want to eat better. We want to work out more consistently, etc. My father talks about how for his resolution, he would like both of his daughters to get married, so he can stop worrying about them. And no matter how much we explain that this ardent wish not only a) sets the women’s movement back 50 years, and b) isn’t a resolution, he just says in his thick Iranian accent: “Vhy not? You are getting too old. And I’m vorried nobody ever gonna marry you.” We all throw our hands up at the futility of arguing this point, and my sister then announces her annual resolution--which is always the same: to floss more.
This year, I really wanted to come up with a new resolution. Not because I’ve reached my fitness goals, or because I feel like I’m done striving for a healthy lifestyle, but because I wanted to think bigger. When reflecting on my year of Lithing and blogging, my entries were never only about fitness. They also covered the important things like celebrity gossip, and also often led me to realizing something about who I am and the kind of life I want to have. I’m pretty sure that is no coincidence considering that’s what Lithe Method is all about really--not just honing your body, but your entire life.
So as I walked around my hometown of Dallas this year, and met up with close friends I hadn’t seen in a long time, my NEW new year’s resolution dawned on me. I want to stay in touch more. In every way.
First, I’m AWFUL about staying in touch. Of course, I call my mom several times a week because if I don’t, I get weirdly spelled texts with frightening emoticons that I think are supposed to convey sadness and disappointment...but only succeed in making me feel weird inside. But aside from that, I’m terrible. I get phone calls from friends, and tell myself that I will call them back later because we have SO much to catch up on, and I really want a clear block of time to devote to the overdue chat, but then never make that block of time, and never call back, and then feel bad for not calling, which makes me less likely to call back because I feel so guilty, which makes it even longer than it should be. Ultimately there are months between phone calls sometimes, and inevitably the first 15 minutes of each phone call is me apologizing for being a cray.
But this year, as I was sitting across from my friends and family, hearing them laugh and catching up on all that’s happened in the last year, I realized how much I’ve missed everyone. I resolved that despite my new life in Philly, and all of the obligations that keep me busy, I can still stay in touch with my life back home. So if that means squeezing in a 10 minute chat as I’m walking to the subway or while I’m going to and from class, it adds up--lots of little check-ins equal a good deal of quality time.
And while I made a resolution to do that, I realized that staying in touch is more than phone calls and email. I realized that, for me, it means being aware in general. And not just aware about others’ needs, but my own as well. So I expanded my original resolution, and decided that I should stay in touch with myself too (there’s a good joke in there somewhere, for sure.) It’s a fine balance though, caring for others while also thinking about what’s best for you. It’s difficult not to feel selfish when you make a choice based purely on your own needs, but this year I’m going to give myself the space to do that a little without beating myself up about it.
So, if that means saying no to some obligations to recommit myself to my Lithe regimen (I gained 5lbs in December, and my first class back, after weeks, was Skinny Jeans on Tuesday--and it wasn’t pretty), or sitting on my couch all day long watching a Millionaire Matchmaker marathon, instead of doing laundry, then that’s what I’m going to do. I hope we can all find that time because ultimately, staying in touch and taking care of ourselves makes us better friends and daughters and sisters and partners in life. And thank goodness for Lithe, without our strong cores, how could we shoulder it all?
Happy new year, and see you in class!
Image of Sayeh Hormozi wearing Lithe's Hotstepper Dress via Dom
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