Tight End
What you need: Gloves!
Props: Lithe’s Higher Power Band System (Pom Handles), Tall Box (from Hipster)
Clothing Considerations: Long pants (You place the pom handles around your ankles at one point.)
Sweat Factor: Imagine you are standing on a corner on a rainy day, and a giant SUV plows through a puddle near you, and mercilessly splashes you without so much as slowing down. Now, do that 10 times...and you might be close.
Growing up in Texas, I was a pretty big football fan. The Dallas Cowboys were winning Super Bowls, and I was going to my high school football games every Friday night. I fancied myself pretty knowledgeable about the sport. But, as the years have passed, I’ve become almost completely disconnected from what’s happening in the NFL. Eagles fans heckle me about another embarrassing Cowboys loss (as if they can talk, oooh buurrrrn), and I just shrug my shoulders because I haven’t the slightest clue what they’re talking about.
But in recent weeks, a phenomenon has swept the nation, and has brought football back into the forefront of my mind. Two words: Tim. Tebow. This man has single-handedly brought prayer back into public schools. Kids everywhere are having Tebow flash mobs--meaning they all take a knee simultaneously in some predetermined location, and feign ardent prayer. (Somebody oughta tell these kids that Rodin’s Thinker has been sportin this pose a century before Timmy hit the scene! DUH kids.) PRAYING flash mobs? Hopefully the trend will hit Philly soon, where the very mention of the term flash mob has shopkeepers and restaurant owners on South Street reaching for their baseball bats.
For those of you whose Facebook news feeds haven’t been inundated by Tebow-related attempts at comedy, Tim Tebow is the quarterback for the Denver Broncos. Extremely open about his religious beliefs, he is given to taking a knee on the field during games to say a quick prayer. Inevitably, it seems that despite his poor performance throughout these games, once he prays--things turn around and the Broncos come back and win in dramatic fashion. Case in point, last weekend when the Broncos ousted the Pittsburgh Steelers in the first round of the playoffs. Tebow miraculously threw an 80-yard touch down pass to bring the score to 29-23 in overtime. The real crazy part? He threw for 316 yards that game. 3:16, Tebow’s favorite bible verse, which he often writes into the shoe polish under his eyes. Go fig.
And it’s because of all this Tebow mania that I almost fell to a knee to say my own prayer in Tight End last week. I was in so much pain that I almost pulled the girl off the box next to mine to make her kneel and chant with me: Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly fah. Fah fah away from here. Tight End is KILLER. Imagine that Weightless, Hipster and Sweet Cheeks got busy and made a little Lithe baby. That would be Tight End.
You begin the class by grabbing onto the pom handles and doing a cardio sequence similar to the fun, dance-cheer series in Weightless. The dance moves themselves are different, but super fun, and equally intense. Then, once your heart rate is pounding and your sweat is forming into little beads all over your body, you incorporate the tall box. Using the bands for support, you do a quad and glute-murdering series of squats, lunges and kicks.
Once you’re legs are giving way, and you’re considering consulting your lord above for support, you get down and go straight into another high octane cardio series. Once you can shake your rump no more, you get back on the box for some inverted work--a la Sweet Cheeks. Here you place the pom handle around your ankle and use the resistance to tap and lift your leg in a zillion different directions. The real crazy part? Lauren kept telling us that she was merely introducing us to Tight End basics--that soon the class will attempt to actually murder us with a lot more moves on the box, and a more ramped-up dance series during the cardio segments.
Tight End is a must-take for anyone looking to kick it up a notch and get their serious sweat on. And when you’re legs are quivering and the sweat is dripping off the end of your nose, just channel your inner Tebow, have faith...and believe. And hey, if you need to say a quick prayer to get through it, go for it. It’s working for the Broncos!
See you in class!
Image of Lither, Sayeh Hormozi in Lithe's Mojo Vented Top & Leather Leggings and Lithe Instructor, Melissa Weinberg wearing Lithe's Attitude Pants via Dom
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