SAYEH'S LIVING LITHE (DETOUR!) 23 Jan 2013
Ladies, I have fallen off the wagon. Wait. Fallen off doesn’t even cover it. The wagon wheels hit a bump in the road and I flew off the back and am lying, covered in mud, clothes torn, face dirty, in a ditch somewhere. I’m choking on wagon dust, shaking my fist in the air, and squinting through the haze as tumbleweeds roll by. If my life was a game of Oregon Trail, you would pass by my tombstone bearing the words, Here Lies Cindy White (That was my OT name. What?) She died because she shot 100lbs of wild moose, but was too weak (from lack of Lithing), so she could only carry 5 measly pounds back to her family.
Where the HELL am I?
Certainly nowhere I ever thought I’d be again. Ever since my Lithe Diving days (almost 2 years ago), I had been as consistent as Kim Kardashian’s tweets about herself. I was going to class 4-6 times a week without fail. Missing one class would send me into a panic and make me feel like a lazy loser. I couldn’t imagine ever getting back to the days where I worked out here and there or gasp--didn’t work out at all. I didn’t know that person. Didn’t understand her. She was a stranger. A chubby woman who sat on my couch for a while housing non-stop handfuls of Pirate’s Booty convinced it was a healthy snack since she found it at Whole Foods. (Pfffft!) Oh how I judged that poor chubby Sayeh. Chayeh.
Now, here I am somehow back on the couch, and not going to Lithe. Yes, I partially blame the incredible Shahs of Sunset marathons. Reza’s one-liners about phenomena like chateau pubes (lady and man parts that have been manicured like chateau topiaries) have glued my ever-loosening hind parts to the seat cushions. It’s true. I watch GiGi try to slam a folding chair into the Persian Pop Priestess, Asa, WWF style over and over again. Also, truth be told I’m stalling in anticipation of the mass release of Diamond Water. I am riveted to the process by which it is made, because I will be drinking it. During Lithe. I’m convinced its love energy infusion will give me the courage and stamina I need to start again. Yes, I acknowledge that perhaps it will only give me the vague hankering to wear a dashiki and/or a head wrap, but I’m willing to take that risk.
Aside from Mocedes, Mo’ Problems*, I really have no excuse. Except that life overwhelmed me. I changed careers; I found myself at home all the time; I started feeling like I had a million ailments (a direct result of being home all the time and also being the insane person that I am), then going to a million doctors and specialists who all eventually told me, (nicely) my ailment is that yes, I am indeed an insane person. Before I knew it, I looked up and it had been weeks and weeks since my last Lithe class. And it was cold outside. And Lithe somehow was just too far away to brave in the dreary gray afternoon. A tiny speck in my field of vision. And oh man, would I be sore once I went back. And I was just going to go back on Monday, but oh just forget it...and pass the Pirate’s Booty.
I have to say, however, that I was very happy at how long my Lithe body held up even without classes. Used to, I would think that I could see myself widening after a single missed class. The last couple of months have taught me that I don’t have to panic so badly...the next time I’m in shape. Because my muscles held on to being toned for a good amount of time--another contributing factor to my lack of Lithe urgency. But now, now I’ve pushed them too far. It’s been too long. I’m noticing little glimpses of Chayeh creeping back in. And although I have grown to love her and to be less harsh on her. It’s time for her to get to steppin.
So yes, most of you probably made some resolutions a few weeks ago with the rest of the sheep. But not me! I go against the grain people. I’m no conventional New Year’s resolver. No, I like to wait until MLK day...or thereabouts to make my resolutions. So here they are...or some of them as they pertain to being Fit Hip and Healthy.
I resolve to make Lithe a meaningful part of my routine again.
I promise to share my journey back with you guys on the blog every Wednesday.
Hopefully my situation is resonating with someone, and for those of you in the motivated place I used to be in, I hope your can-do attitude will get me going again. That and Diamond Water of course. I’m serious.
See you in class! (No, for real this time. I mean it.)
*This is MJ, another Shahs of Sunset character. If you don’t watch SOS, first I’m very sorry for you. Second, might I gently suggest you put it on the DVR queue, if you’d like to understand the majority of my forthcoming blogs! Oh, and...We ruuuun LA!