ME ON MONDAY (MUSINGS ON 36) 25 Nov 2013
Today is my 36th birthday. I've never really been big into birthdays, they always feel like any other day to me. Last week someone reminded me that my birthday was approaching, which got me thinking a little about age and aging. Last weekend, someone asked me how old I was going to be and I couldn't remember. Like, I had to think about it and do the math. I stopped counting at 27.
I've considered myself lucky that I've always looked young for my age and being petite plays a big part in that. In fact, if I wear no makeup, pull my hair back and wear flats, I can appear as young as 14. So, I've never lied about my age or tried to act coy about it (except for those two years at USC that I used that horrible fake Michigan ID that got me into all the bars at Five Points). BUT, today is the first time that I feel a tad bit strange about saying my age out loud. Thirrttie-sixx. Don't get me wrong, I've loved my thirties and I wouldn’t go back to my twenties if you paid me, but, today feels different. I think that it feels different because I'm firmly nestled into my thirties now. I have a husband, a kid, and a whole lot of responsibility that comes with adulthood. And, I hate all the adult-ness that comes with responsibility. It makes me feel all rooted and I'd much rather be floating.
I've always been all about age positivity. Like, I never understood why some people say that they can't Lithe because they are 40. That makes absolutely no sense to me. When I was 27, I read that women reach their physical peak at age 36. I held on to that and I truly believe that now. Word is bond. I don't think there is a certain age that we turn “old”; I think we decide what “old” means. Being "old" is totally relative, and it’s forever shifting.
I may be older on paper, but I have more energy, more "life" in me today than I did when I was 27. I drink less, I Lithe just as much as I did in my 20's (although I Lithe smarter, now), I eat and drink my greens, I sleep waaay more. I take far better care of myself now and it shows—I look and feel better now than I did at 27.
The biggest differences between now and then are pretty inarticulate—My room is still a mess, I'm still "all over the place" as people like to say, and I’ll still stay for one more drink, and I'll dance on the bar. But, today I know that I'm older because some things have definitely changed: I haven't been carded in the past year, the people at Whole Foods now refer to me as ma'am, and my right knee crunches when I gain a few pounds. Other than that, I don't feel a day older than 27.
So, thank you to all of you who sent me birthday wishes today. I even got a few texts/emails that made me laugh out loud: "Happy Birthday Lauren, today is the first day of the rest of your life; Laur, you’re only as old as you feel, and happy thirty-six years young"! Ha! I say bring on the 36, I can't wait to see what I can accomplish before 37 kicks you out! Cheers, everyone!
Image of Lauren Boggi via Jordan