DEAR LITHE (LOVE LETTERS) 8 Jan 2015
This is my Lithe love letter to you and your amazing team. For years I struggled with a very serious eating disorder. When something life altering or traumatizing happens, the human body finds a way to cope with the pain. When I was 18 my life got turned upside down. Instead of dealing with my trauma, I decided to internalize my pain, creating a demon within. My eating disorder stripped everything from me, leaving nothing but emptiness. I didn't have the capability to smile, feel happiness or love; I just felt a numb. The only thing I cared about was my image. I starved myself, over-exercised, purged, and did everything in my power to become "perfect." This internal battle went on for years, causing my weight and health to plummet. I was dying inside and out.
The morning of my 22nd birthday, I woke up truly furious that I was still alive. All I wanted was to be dead so that this demon would finally leave me. I tried to push it away, make it leave my body, but all of my attempts failed. It was at that moment I knew I had too much to live for. I was young, smart, and athletic with the world at my fingertips. My family is the greatest thing in my life. If I couldn't get better for myself, then I would get better for them. I knew my disorder was tearing them apart each and every day. I got up, got dressed, and marched down to the University of Alabama's student services center to withdraw myself from school (I was halfway through the first semester of my senior year). I bookeda flight home to Delaware that day, only leaving another time to say goodbye to my loved ones.
The morning after returning home, I researched the best rehab facilities in the U.S. Remuda Ranch came up in my search. A very amazing treatment facility in Arizona would be my new home for the next few months. Within two days I had arrived leaving the real world behind. I was in treatment for four months total. No phone, computer, TV, mirrors, etc. This was a legitimate rehab that took all triggers away and that was my saving grace. I put my life into my team's hands. Strict meal plans were enforced and there was intense therapy for hours a day. By the time my four months was over, I was up 15 pounds and had a clear head. I was happy for the first time in years.
I returned home the day before Thanksgiving (crazy holiday to return to, I know). I went to my aunt's holiday party begrudgingly. That night I met the love of my life and have been happily with him ever since. Funny how that worked! Anyways, we now live together in Old City and have the most amazing life together. I am almost done with my marketing degree and will soon be the college graduate I planned to be.
Lithe Method was one of the most pivotal things in my recovery. It truly changed my idea of what a woman's body should be. Instead of idealizing skinny, frail models, I now look at you and all the other instructors as what we should be. All unique, strong, and motivated. No matter how hard we try to fix our imperfections, they are a part of us. I see you and the other women who could kick some serious ass and to me that is awesome. Those weak models would snap after one seesaw.
Lauren, you truly are one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. Not just esthetically, but internally as well. You realize that being perfect is impossible and it isn't something we should strive for. Finding Lithe fresh out of treatment was the best thing that happened to me. Being a Lither made my recovery successful beyond my wildest dreams. Your whole outlook on exercise changed mine and I now respect my body and all the amazing things it does for me. I used to not have a single muscle on my body. Now I am fit, happy, healthy, and most importantly strong. You have no idea what Lithe means to me, but I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Lithe has changed my life and helps me to smile every single day. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
All my love,